Get Back Together With Your Ex – 3 Steps to Rebuilding the Attraction

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Losing someone you’re in love with is a very painful experience. You feel like you’ve just lost something you’ll never get back. Maybe your ex has told you there’s no chance of a relationship with them again? Unless you’ve done something unforgivable, this is never the case.

If they were attracted to you before, they can be attracted to you again.

Following these 3 steps is a good start if you want to get back together with your ex.

1. Leave Them Alone – How can you win back your ex without even speaking to them, you ask? Be patient. Don’t rush things right after the break up. Your emotions mixed with their emotions at this point will likely cause a very messy explosion.

Right now, they’ll still think their reason for breaking up with you is valid. If you keep pestering them, begging them to change their mind, and telling them how you “can’t live without them”, you’re just going to make things worse.

You need to show them that you’re strong. Crying about it is okay, but they don’t need to know. They won’t take you back out of sympathy. If they know they can get you back at any time, what’s the rush? They can date other people and know you’re there for a back up.

Later on, you can contact them again; we’ll cover that soon. But for now, no e-mails, no writing, no phone calls, no checking their MySpace profile. Every time you give in to one of these temptations, you’re going to reduce your chances, rip open your wounds again and find yourself back at square one.

You need to prove to yourself, and them, that you’re a strong character. Give them time to miss you and wonder what you’re up to. This leads us to…

2. Enrich Your Life – While you wait, fill up your free time with anything and everything. Join a club. Start a new hobby that you’ve always wanted to do. Learn a musical instrument. By doing this you’re going to meet new people and better yourself.

Wipe the word “no” out of your vocabulary for a while. Friends ask you to a party? Say yes. Attractive member of the opposite sex asks you on a date? Say yes. Remember, you’re not betraying or cheating on your ex by doing this. They wanted the break-up, right? If they’re not happy with you meeting new mates, then they’ll have to win you back.

If they know you might not be staying around to wait for them, they may suddenly realize they don’t want to lose you. You’re not being manipulative unless you have no interest whatsoever in these dates. This is win/win for you. Not only could you potentially meet a new lover (who could turn out to be the man/woman of your dreams) but you’ll also make your ex reconsider losing you.

3. Get Back In Contact – Give it at least a week or two after the break-up before any contact. Decide how long you’re going to give it, and don’t change it.

If your ex tries to get in contact with you before that time is up, use your judgement to decide whether or not you should answer. Don’t break plans or go out of your way to see them, but don’t make a big deal out of it either. Just say “I’m busy that night, but how about (new day later in the week)?”

If they don’t get in contact, write them an e-mail, or a text message, something casual asking them how they’re doing. Don’t bring up the break-up, dates, etc. Talk to them like they’re friends. If everything goes well after a few exchanges, ask them if they’d like to hang out.

If they say yes, don’t instantly fold when you see them. Still treat them like friends. Focus on having fun. Make them laugh and smile. Show them something you’ve learned since breaking up. (If you started taking guitar lessons in step 2 for example, show them your really awesome cover of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”)

The most important thing is to show them how much fun they can have with you. Nothing will kill the attraction more than diving into the deep stuff. If you can get them laughing, half the battle is already won.

If you treat them like it’s a first date, they will feel like they did on your first date. Remember why they became attracted to you in the first place, and show them that hasn’t changed about you. Show them that whatever it was that caused the break-up has changed, and you’ll do well.

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Source by V. Valentino

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